So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
