whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
