Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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