just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm at about main and main street
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
