bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
