Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't notice because vodka
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
