Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't deserve a penis
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
