Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
