All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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