he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
