she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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