I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
