Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
