I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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