i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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