it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
