Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
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