I didn't shave. On purpose
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
