would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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