something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
