Ambien. No doubt about it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this boner is exhausting
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
