okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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