he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
