everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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