my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
