Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
