At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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