i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How does one acquire holy water?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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