Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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