She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
