Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
