walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
