her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
