At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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