yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
