...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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