i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
