Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
