don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
