It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Randomize
