Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
