I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
