all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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