"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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