Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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