I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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