This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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