I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize