Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
