his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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