you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
