You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The feeling are messing with the penis
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
