he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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