Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
