is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
