Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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