Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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