Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My friends, they love my intelligence
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
