We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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